Breaking News: Montblanc Vanishes!

When other faculty members wandered over to Montblanc's place, they found his office and apartment completely empty. "He even took the lightbulbs, switchplates and doorknobs," one faculty member explained. "The place was really clean." Montblanc left no forwarding address, but a post it note on the wall said Au revoir!

Back to Campus!

Don't forget to catch one of the campus buses at midnight in Clarkstown.


Opening day celebrations include the all-you-can-eat candy apple buffet. (apple varieties include Granny Smith, Gala, Early McIntosh, and Crabapple)


Great News! A sno cone machine has been donated by the Vallebuona family.


Free bicycles for everyone!

Campus Snax Expands Options

Our main campus snack bar, Campus Snax, is under new management and most of the snacks available are new and exciting.


The Campus Snax name will be changed to 한과 .




In other unrelated news, all piano students will be required to take the following classes:

Conversational Korean 101, 102, 103
Korean Composition 101 & 102
Korean Hangul Writing Structure 101 & 102
The Cinema of Korea (Korean Film Studies)
Ancient Korean History
South Korean History
Windows on Asia: North Korea, Yesterday & Today

Music Theory 101
Music Appreciation 101

Fruits On Campus

August and September are very fruity months on the Ched U campus. The rare Asian plum trees are bursting forth.

Besides blueberries, raspberries, pears and apples, the campus also boasts plenty of blackberries.


Niagra Grapes were planted just a few years ago.





We would like to start an actual orchard and a Christmas tree farm on campus, but we need volunteers.

House of Four Doors to be built on Campus

Mystery spread it's cloak across the sky, we'd lost our way.
Shadows fell from trees, they knew why.

Then through the leaves a light broke through,
A path lost for years led us through.

House of four doors, I could live there forever,
House of four doors, would it be there forever.

Loneliness, the face of pilgrim's eyes looked on,
As the door opened wide.

Beauty, they had found before my eyes to see,
And to the next door we came.

Love of music, showed in everything we heard,
Through the third door where are we?

Enter in, all ye who seek to find within,
As the plaque said on the last door.

(House of Four Doors Video/ The Moody Blues)

OK, just watching that video made the trustees high. So here's another: Thinking is the Best Way to Travel

The Uni Classifieds

Announcement: The Second Annual Campus Jeff Lynne Fan Club Dance will be held next Saturday. Last year 8 people (including Jeff ) attended, and we hope for an even better turn out this year. Let's make this year's dance a real fun time.




Help Wanted: Assistant Saucier Experience Necessary, must have own saucepans. Apply in person at dining hall.


Help Wanted: Graphic Artist to design the definitive Eyeball Logos for all C.U. teams.


Help Wanted: Someone to clean up all of the string on campus and wind it into giant balls. Must be able to climb trees and enjoy working outdoors.


Missing: dining hall chef, resembles Danny Devito, we forget his name but he was very nice and just vanished one day, leaving his wallet and all other personal effects behind. Any Info would be appreciated.


Personal: K, I am so sorry, please forgive me, it was a fluke, I swear, Like I said the last time, it will never ever happen again. Sincerely, Jeff Lynne


For Sale: Hibachi - gently used. Possibly less than gently used, but still possibly usable. contact Jeff Lynne.

Wanted: writer, artist, and serious business person with show bizzy experience and plenty of paper, to restore the popularity of an old newsletter. Contact Jeff Lynne.

Your Home Away From Home

Always remember that the Ched U campus is your home away from home. You're always welcome.


Campus News:

*The giant mice have all left campus and gone to Los Angeles with Stuart Little (who visited campus last week and offered them roles in a horror movie he's producing next year. They're off to taking acting lessons.)

*The sink holes made by the giant mice have been repaired and we no longer need to use the rope bridge to get to the dining hall.

*A new chef has been hired for the dining hall. The old chef is still missing.

*Campus Want Ads will be posted every Sunday.